Difficult Conversations

If you spend 20 years in business and never have the experience related below, you're either one of the greatest business leaders ever born, you're extraordinarily luck - or you're not listening. Consider this situation:

Hal, the CEO of a high tech company, is about to have a difficult conversation. He just received a call from one of the company's most valued customers who was very upset by a confrontation with Hal's employee Joe. Joe is the company's strongest "tech guy" and after 10 years of exemplary performance was promoted to a leadership role. Since his promotion Joe has upset this particular client on 2 occasions and Hal is beginning to wonder if promoting Joe was a mistake. After the first incident Hal did nothing hoping Joe would recognize the problem and work it out with the client. Faced with a second incident Hal can not delay confronting Joe.

An important concept for Hal to embrace is curiosity. He has already heard the client's version of the story so by staying curious Hal can introduce the conversation without the judgment that would cause Joe to move into a defensive stance. By inviting Joe to share his story ... his version of who said what and who did what, Hal is communicating that he's not taking sides but moving the disagreement toward an amicable resolution.

Another benefit of this non-confronting approach is Hal has created an opportunity to coach Joe. Through a series of questions Hal can uncover what motivated Joe during his client interaction. A few sample questions include:

What did you intend to accomplish?
How did you analyze the situation?
How did you decide what to do?

Hal can then support Joe to develop a new approach to future interactions. A few sample questions to achieve this include:

What actions will you take?
How will you monitor progress?
In what ways can I support you?

Difficult conversations provide excellent opportunities to support the growth and development of your employees - and your growth as a business leader. Get excited about and engaged in difficult conversations and they'll get less difficult over time!