Conflict Resolution

Dan is notorious for withholding bits of information and “forgetting” to follow-up. His behavior is a nuisance yet Phil, Dan’s boss, continuously lets it slide. As the weeks pass Dan’s behavior further deteriorates frustrating his direct reports and co-workers. Dan misses key deadlines, argues with other employees, and conceals customer issues. Despite the serious nature of the problems Phil does not address Dan’s behavior.

How effective are your conflict resolution skills? Are you a Phil, avoiding conflict by putting your head in the sand hoping it will pass you by? If you reflect back upon the conflicts you have encountered throughout your career you will easily recognize that few resolved them self and most escalated.

The ability to resolve conflict has become a must have skill. Business leaders cannot afford the lost productivity, lost time, stifled creativity, or low morale that result from unresolved conflict.

So what can you do?

1. Acknowledge conflict exists – every manager faces conflict. When the elephant in the room is given a name people begin to feel free to discuss and resolve issues.
2. Become a skillful communicator – communication has two sides, speaking and listening. Carefully discern which will support the best outcome.
3. Set a good example – role modeling will inspire your team to approach conflict in a new way.

As you mindfully change your approach to resolving conflict you will make a significant impact on your relationships and your organization’s business results.

Who doesn’t want that?

Nonperformance

A month ago your employee John was assigned to a special project team. After 3 weeks you begin to receive complaints from team members that John is not completing his assignments. John’s nonperformance is affecting the team’s ability to meet its commitments.

You know John spends all day at this desk, typically even working through lunch, so the complaints come as a surprise. It would be easy to tell John to "shape up" yet because he has a record of getting his work done you decide to approach the issue as a development opportunity.

Here are some questions that will help John become more aware of what he is and is not accomplishing during the workday.

What did I accomplish today?
What tasks remain incomplete?
What excuses, stories, or justifications do I have for not fulfilling my commitment to complete the tasks?
What events, people, or personal limitations got in the way of completing the work?
What action will I take now?

Once John recognizes what’s getting in the way, the path to change can open.

Unnecessary Conflict

Hal is the company superstar. He hits the sales targets and generates considerable revenue for the organization. As a result Hal is rewarded handsomely.

While other employees respect Hal for his business results they bristle when he walks in the room. Not only is Hal the company superstar, he is the company jerk. His words and tone cause unnecessary conflict, which has to be managed before anything gets done. Hal is aware how others respond to him, yet because his performance is generously rewarded does not believe his actions are inappropriate.

Hal is not an anomaly in the corporate world. Many individuals are elevated to the executive ranks based on high performance only to find a spotlight shining on their fatal flaws.

Believe it or not executives like Hal can change. More important, if the individual is loyal to the organization and success minded he will want to change. A place to begin is uncovering how the individual initiates the conflict. The following reflection questions can support the discovery process.

Do you use insensitive language?
Do you raise your voice often?
Do you use demeaning terms?
Do you use negative humor?
Do you offer conclusions, solutions, statements, dictates or answers early in a transaction?

The "Devil's Advocate"

Bob is the “devils advocate” dialed up to maximum. Any idea a team member raises is met with Bob fiercely arguing the opposite position. Every meeting that Bob attends either results in a heated argument or total silence. Bob’s true intention is to add value by surfacing both sides of every idea. In Bob’s words, “Aren’t good decisions the result of thoroughly evaluating all the options?” What Bob fails to realize is that his approach does not add value to the decision making process. It is divisive and alienating.

As Bob’s boss you have been inundated with complaints and defusing the resulting conflicts has turned into a part-time job. What are your options? The only respectful place to start is sitting Bob down for an honest conversation. Second you can begin to support change by offering Bob a few self-reflection questions. Some possible questions are:

What did you speak up for in meetings today?
What was the effect of your speaking up?
Is this the effect you intended?

Conflict Resolution - An Introduction

To ensure I'm addressing subjects meaningful to this audience I polled a few executives to surface topics of interest. Several individuals identified conflict resolution as a hot concern in their organization so I plan to commit several editions of "Coaching Tips for the Top" to this subject.

Before I launch into any subject I first turn to my trusty dictionary to look up key words.

conflict n. 1 A state of open, often prolonged fighting; a battle or war. 2. A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash.
v. 1. To be in or come into opposition; differ.

resolution n. 3. A course of action resolved on. ...... resolve v. 6. To find a solution; solve.

Conflict resolution is reactive .... one is responding to a conflict. Since forward thinking and problem avoidance are valued in our business culture I want to also touch on the idea of "conflict elimination". Is it possible to handle a conflict - not conflict in general, in a way that eliminates future incidence?

eliminate v. 1. to get rid of; remove.

Most of us are able to recognize when we come face to face with conflict. All too often one of us blinks and in that split second conflict has become the 800 pound gorilla in the room. While recognizable and pretty familiar the illusive aspect of conflict is its many sources. I wish I could provide you with a handy one size fits all approach to resolving conflict but conflict resolution is not a science .... it is an art.

The "Coaching Tips for the Top" that follow will address the more common sources of conflict.

definition source: The American Heritage College Dictionary, Third Edition.