Welcome Bad News

When you are presented with bad news do you react or respond? Is your reaction impulsive and emotional or do you respond by taking a deep breath followed by asking questions?

It is important for employees to feel comfortable sharing bad news. To encourage your employees prod them during conversations to tell you what’s wrong as well as right. Ask, “What’s the toughest thing you’re dealing with right now?” or “What would make it easier for you to cooperate with your co-workers?”

Don’t scowl the minute they raise a conflict or insist you “don’t want to hear about it.” A culture where bad news is not accepted allows tensions to build – tensions that may explode later. Preventing conflict is even better than skillfully resolving conflict!

Managing The Boss

Managing your boss is an area of management ripe for conflict. This is a multidimensional issue so I’ll focus on managing your boss as it relates to setting priorities. And I'm going to assume that the boss isn't pushing off his work on the staff but is equally as overwhelmed.

How often do you find yourself working in “fire drill” mode because everything seems to be a priority? Unfortunately the management style of many executives is to delegate work in a reactive way without thought to communicating priorities. The boss may not even think of developing priorities for his own work responsibilities.

The lack of guidance regarding priorities may seem to communicate that the task "of the moment" is top priority. Unfortunately as team members jump from fire to fire everyone finds themselves in the middle of lots of projects. Having work partially complete with limited opportunity to wrap things up ... without working crazy hours, wears everyone down. The good news is the boss is not doing this on purpose and is quite often unconscious of the issues and turmoil his style creates.

What can you do? Though it may be difficult to approach the boss having a conversation about priorities is only path to change. Let your boss know that you want to respond to the requests in a way that supports him most effectively and that you aren't always able to figure that out on your own. Have a list of all your tasks and projects and ask for guidance around priorities and deadlines. Don't be afraid to negotiate when you can reasonable get something completed. Also if there is anything someone else can help you with ask your boss for support getting extra resources for special projects.

Please don’t expect miraculous things from the initial conversation. Remember change takes time so stick with it. Raise questions in the moment. When you are engaged in a project and your boss approaches you with something new ask which is a priority.

Tying your requests back to supporting your boss will help build a more trusting relationship and can help your boss shift his management style.

Conflict Resolution

Dan is notorious for withholding bits of information and “forgetting” to follow-up. His behavior is a nuisance yet Phil, Dan’s boss, continuously lets it slide. As the weeks pass Dan’s behavior further deteriorates frustrating his direct reports and co-workers. Dan misses key deadlines, argues with other employees, and conceals customer issues. Despite the serious nature of the problems Phil does not address Dan’s behavior.

How effective are your conflict resolution skills? Are you a Phil, avoiding conflict by putting your head in the sand hoping it will pass you by? If you reflect back upon the conflicts you have encountered throughout your career you will easily recognize that few resolved them self and most escalated.

The ability to resolve conflict has become a must have skill. Business leaders cannot afford the lost productivity, lost time, stifled creativity, or low morale that result from unresolved conflict.

So what can you do?

1. Acknowledge conflict exists – every manager faces conflict. When the elephant in the room is given a name people begin to feel free to discuss and resolve issues.
2. Become a skillful communicator – communication has two sides, speaking and listening. Carefully discern which will support the best outcome.
3. Set a good example – role modeling will inspire your team to approach conflict in a new way.

As you mindfully change your approach to resolving conflict you will make a significant impact on your relationships and your organization’s business results.

Who doesn’t want that?

Nonperformance

A month ago your employee John was assigned to a special project team. After 3 weeks you begin to receive complaints from team members that John is not completing his assignments. John’s nonperformance is affecting the team’s ability to meet its commitments.

You know John spends all day at this desk, typically even working through lunch, so the complaints come as a surprise. It would be easy to tell John to "shape up" yet because he has a record of getting his work done you decide to approach the issue as a development opportunity.

Here are some questions that will help John become more aware of what he is and is not accomplishing during the workday.

What did I accomplish today?
What tasks remain incomplete?
What excuses, stories, or justifications do I have for not fulfilling my commitment to complete the tasks?
What events, people, or personal limitations got in the way of completing the work?
What action will I take now?

Once John recognizes what’s getting in the way, the path to change can open.

Unnecessary Conflict

Hal is the company superstar. He hits the sales targets and generates considerable revenue for the organization. As a result Hal is rewarded handsomely.

While other employees respect Hal for his business results they bristle when he walks in the room. Not only is Hal the company superstar, he is the company jerk. His words and tone cause unnecessary conflict, which has to be managed before anything gets done. Hal is aware how others respond to him, yet because his performance is generously rewarded does not believe his actions are inappropriate.

Hal is not an anomaly in the corporate world. Many individuals are elevated to the executive ranks based on high performance only to find a spotlight shining on their fatal flaws.

Believe it or not executives like Hal can change. More important, if the individual is loyal to the organization and success minded he will want to change. A place to begin is uncovering how the individual initiates the conflict. The following reflection questions can support the discovery process.

Do you use insensitive language?
Do you raise your voice often?
Do you use demeaning terms?
Do you use negative humor?
Do you offer conclusions, solutions, statements, dictates or answers early in a transaction?

The "Devil's Advocate"

Bob is the “devils advocate” dialed up to maximum. Any idea a team member raises is met with Bob fiercely arguing the opposite position. Every meeting that Bob attends either results in a heated argument or total silence. Bob’s true intention is to add value by surfacing both sides of every idea. In Bob’s words, “Aren’t good decisions the result of thoroughly evaluating all the options?” What Bob fails to realize is that his approach does not add value to the decision making process. It is divisive and alienating.

As Bob’s boss you have been inundated with complaints and defusing the resulting conflicts has turned into a part-time job. What are your options? The only respectful place to start is sitting Bob down for an honest conversation. Second you can begin to support change by offering Bob a few self-reflection questions. Some possible questions are:

What did you speak up for in meetings today?
What was the effect of your speaking up?
Is this the effect you intended?

Conflict Resolution - An Introduction

To ensure I'm addressing subjects meaningful to this audience I polled a few executives to surface topics of interest. Several individuals identified conflict resolution as a hot concern in their organization so I plan to commit several editions of "Coaching Tips for the Top" to this subject.

Before I launch into any subject I first turn to my trusty dictionary to look up key words.

conflict n. 1 A state of open, often prolonged fighting; a battle or war. 2. A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash.
v. 1. To be in or come into opposition; differ.

resolution n. 3. A course of action resolved on. ...... resolve v. 6. To find a solution; solve.

Conflict resolution is reactive .... one is responding to a conflict. Since forward thinking and problem avoidance are valued in our business culture I want to also touch on the idea of "conflict elimination". Is it possible to handle a conflict - not conflict in general, in a way that eliminates future incidence?

eliminate v. 1. to get rid of; remove.

Most of us are able to recognize when we come face to face with conflict. All too often one of us blinks and in that split second conflict has become the 800 pound gorilla in the room. While recognizable and pretty familiar the illusive aspect of conflict is its many sources. I wish I could provide you with a handy one size fits all approach to resolving conflict but conflict resolution is not a science .... it is an art.

The "Coaching Tips for the Top" that follow will address the more common sources of conflict.

definition source: The American Heritage College Dictionary, Third Edition.